Frames…
It has been since forever that I pride myself of thinking outside the box. Not to get to solutions for problems that might be there or not, or for a new enterprise that will make me (financially) rich. It’s more in a way that I have always questioned the existence of such box. Or at least questioning the reasons why such a box would be there, it’s properties and the opportunities to challenge pretty much everything about that box. A colleague photographer told me once: “I think I describe you best by saying: you believe nothing and you question everything.” I don’t know about the first part really… I’d like to believe I believe in something… But the second part is definitely spot on!
As my work and this blog are mostly about photography, I try to stay away from philosophy, daydreaming or spirituality as much as I can, but I still need to address them regularly as they are a big part of who I am and most of the time they are a starting-point for the projects I end up saying yes to. Whenever I feel a deep sense of curiosity, I realize that I’m looking at something completely out of my own box. In other words; it confronts me with the safe little bubble that I grew up in, live in and most likely - time and again - will return to. A both welcome as well as uncomfortable feeling. Welcome as I really like to challenge every box, especially my own. Uncomfortable as it confronts me with the fact I’m not the all knowing, all excepting, all embracing superman… and everybody wants to be superman right?
This dynamic is what happened with Company of Many, where my colleague and friend Lisa and I challenge the construct that regular reporting and (adventure) tourism have imposed on Southwestern Asia - also known as the Middle East. (Her words, but I so love and feel them.) But my journey to Malawi where I spent several weeks in a mental hospital, learning just a little bit about the fine lines of being crazy, is a good example as well. As was my assignment in Cuzco Peru, where I had the privilege to, connect with autistic children. These are just a few illustrations of the same system. The same system that made me start my current project. Bringing me to Argentina.
When my friend Peter Schouten invited me to come to Buenos Aires to do a deepdive in the world of transgenders and travesti, I felt an immediately yes. Because: How much do I really know about the world of transgender and travesti? Or concepts as gender fluidity and non-binary? And what do I know about all the injustice, prejudice, framing and sometimes even violence that comes with it? Can I ever imagine the feeling of having to fight to be who you want to be, or - as I quickly learned - to be who you feel you are and always have been? Short answer: Not a thing and no I can’t. I do know that - same as with #blacklivesmatter or with feminism or with gayrights or any other LGBTQ+rights - I will never know how it feels like to have to fight for “just”being me.
Buenos Aires so far has been eyeopening. The very first prejudice that got killed: A lot of places, actually most of them, are really safe to go around. Funny enough, I have experienced this pretty much everywhere in the world… time and time again. I don’t know why in my head it was different this time. Maybe it’s that I have been told somewhere, somehow, that South American cities are unsafe. Or my mind has mixed up Rio with BA (another prejudice as I have never been to Rio). But living in this city for the past three weeks has been nothing short of amazing. Another nice confrontation with my “regular Dutch life”: Tattoos and piercings are not a thing here… At the bank you get a bankteller with a piercing in his nose a tattoo both on his temple and in his neck and it’s not a thing. I love it! A business man can ware nail-polish and everybody (yes, this is when meeting for the first time) says “Hello, nice to meet you”, with a kiss on the cheek.
The project took some time to start up though. Not only did we get distracted by following a Dutch mayor that was here and visiting a classical concert, Peter and I also had to work our way into a world we both know little about. A world that does have some distrust towards “regular life”, whatever that might be. The fact that Peter and his husband live in Buenos Aires did help to open some doors in this aspect, but trust still had to be won. Distrust comes with a reason. Even though the rights of transgender and travesti are well documented and taken care of by various laws in Argentina; daily life for many still is said to be a struggle or at least has been an uphill battle for many years.
It is only the past week that our efforts are paying of. We met ten year old trans-combatant Jessica with the alias Super Travita. She has been getting the support of her mother ever since she felt like being a girl at the age of four. Maybe I’ll have to double down on my own words later, but I have the strong feeling that back home, most parents have no problem to let their son dress up to go to school in girls clothes… up to a point though. After that I feel this is most likely going to change and the child will be asked to adjust. Maybe that is different by now - could be a whole new project, come to think of it - but I sure know this was how things went when I was a child some lightyears ago.
We followed Jessica when she walked in the parade of PRIDE in one of the barrios in Buenos Aires. Here we joined up with some other trans we met in previous weeks. They taught me that trans does not necessarily means becoming a woman when born a man or vice versa. It can also mean just becoming a trans. Becoming the person you have always felt you are, instead of dealing with the cards you were dealt and the perception, norms and values of others.
When invited to a night of Ballroom performance, I did not know what to expect. Aparently, I missed the whole hype of the Netflix series POSE and therefor was clueless. In short, for what I understand now, it is a night of an all inclusive but by now predominately LGBTIQ+ pageant in which the catwalk is walked by drags in all different kinds of categories. And most contenders and a lot of the public consist of groups known as "houses," where chosen families of friends form relationships and communities separate from their families of origin. This I know now, as I was asked to photograph the preparations of one of these Ballroom shows; theme: Halloween.
What a night that was. So much happening. So much to see. So much to try and comprehend. The house I visited was the House of Tropikalia. A house where family members considers themselves as non-binary, meaning not viewing themselves as a woman or a man. For a brief moment this confused me as I also understood some felt trans masculine, for example. Soon I understood that I had to stop trying to understand it. This wasn’t about understanding and it certainly wasn’t about trying to fit something in a box.
How could it be that I was the one creating a framed view of what was going on? It took me a very uncomfortable moment, feeling very much like a white, straight, privileged and abled male person. Only to have the very welcome realization that that is exactly what I need to be, in order to be the curious wanderer who is willing to investigate and let go of all (self-) imposed constructs. Finally remaining with only the deepest desire to sincerely connect and truly see the world.
